So I have been dealing with a lot of stuff lately... especially it be Valentines day and at the end of this month there is another day that HAD special meaning to it, but it doesn't anymore, and I have found myself in a very low and dark place and I haven't really figured out how or when I will be able to come out of it. So in this post I just wanted to leave ya'll with this song that was brought to my attention by a close friend of mine and its by Sara Evans.... I literally have been listening to this song every morning just to help motivate me to go on with my day and take everything just one step at a time......
Woke up late today and I still feel the sting of the pain
But I brushed my teeth anyway
I got dressed through the mess and put a smile on my face
I got a little bit stronger
Riding in the car to work and I'm trying to ignore the hurt
So I turned on the radio, stupid song made me think of you
I listened to it for minute but I changed it
I'm getting a little bit stronger, just a little bit stronger
And I'm done hoping that we could work it out
I'm done with how it feels, spinning my wheels
Letting you drag my heart around
And, oh, I'm done thinking that you could ever change
I know my heart will never be the same
But I'm telling myself I'll be okay
Even on my weakest days
I get a little bit stronger
Doesn't happen overnight but you turn around
And a month's gone by and you realize you haven't cried
I'm not giving you a hour or a second or another minute longer
I'm busy getting stronger
Getting along without you, baby
I'm better off without you, baby
How does it feel without me, baby?
I'm getting stronger without you, baby
I know my heart will never be the same
But I'm telling myself I'll be okay
Even on my weakest days, I get a little bit stronger
I get a little bit stronger
Tuesday, February 15, 2011
Sunday, February 13, 2011
Ennie, Meenie, Miney, Mo
When it comes to finding a guy I am interested in am I being too picky? Do I need to lower my standards or should I keep searching until I find the kind of guy I feel like I deserve? I mean i understand that Im not anything near the next Beyonce or Hallie Berry but is it too much to ask for just a good guy? I have gone out with my girl friends plenty of times and have been the only one to go home empty handed and it makes me think.... am I looking for too much in a man? Im I worried too much about the 40% personality 60% looks ratio that I by pass all the other guys that could be amazing!? I personally think think that personality is a huge part in when finding a guy because if he's more into how he looks than how he acts around me or anyone for that matter then he would not be the guy for me..... But I feel like guys are way too much into looks than personality when it comes to them looking for a girl and thats where Im out of the game... :( thats why its not me.... its you.
Sunday, January 30, 2011
Generation Gap?
Have you ever sat down with your mom or grandma and heard the story of when and how they fell in love? For the most part it all seems fairytale-ish and that it just happens and you cant control it and blah blah blah blah! What I don't understand is where have all these men that they have told me about gone? .... I hate to say it but I think that there's a generation gap. A huge gigantic gap between our grandfathers and dad's and the ocean of guys we have to fish from to find our one "true love".
Actually listening to these stories about how the women who came before me on my family tree found their other half makes me realize how behind I am in life! My great grandma went to elementary through high school with my great grandfather and she said she always knew she was gonna marry him. The same goes for my grandma..her and my grandfather were raised in the same church and they were dating by middle school and married by 18....then there was my mother.... she at one point, back in high school, was one of those girls who was always asking herself "why am I not good enough for him?" but she then went off to be a cheerleader at a community college at the age of 18. By the age 19 she had met my dad who was the starting catcher for the colleges baseball team. By 20 they were engaged, and right after my mom's 21st and right before my dad's 21st they had tied the knot! My sister came by age of 23 and TA-DA!!! I was here by age 25 in the year 1991!!
If you did your math right and you want to do a little comparison to my mom's time line... I should be finding a 3.5 carat (pear or trillion cut on a platinum setting) rock on my left hand somewhere in the next 4 months! you see where Im going with this? I could probably count on one hand how many girls my age I know that are engaged or married right now. and its not because us girls are afraid of commitment or don't want to be in a serious relationship....no it's actually the opposite... the men are the ones who are afraid, they are the one's who don't want to commit. Where are the guys who still know how to pick up the phone and call a girl to ask them on a date? Where are the guys who have enough respect for us women to put aside their thoughts of hopping in bed at the first chance and instead settle for a kiss at the end of the night with the promise of talking again the next day? Are we as women asking too much? are we expecting the impossible? or are guys just that indecisive? They say women can't make up their minds on what we want.... B.S! we know exactly what we want.... I know exactly what I want! that's why its not me... its you!
Actually listening to these stories about how the women who came before me on my family tree found their other half makes me realize how behind I am in life! My great grandma went to elementary through high school with my great grandfather and she said she always knew she was gonna marry him. The same goes for my grandma..her and my grandfather were raised in the same church and they were dating by middle school and married by 18....then there was my mother.... she at one point, back in high school, was one of those girls who was always asking herself "why am I not good enough for him?" but she then went off to be a cheerleader at a community college at the age of 18. By the age 19 she had met my dad who was the starting catcher for the colleges baseball team. By 20 they were engaged, and right after my mom's 21st and right before my dad's 21st they had tied the knot! My sister came by age of 23 and TA-DA!!! I was here by age 25 in the year 1991!!
If you did your math right and you want to do a little comparison to my mom's time line... I should be finding a 3.5 carat (pear or trillion cut on a platinum setting) rock on my left hand somewhere in the next 4 months! you see where Im going with this? I could probably count on one hand how many girls my age I know that are engaged or married right now. and its not because us girls are afraid of commitment or don't want to be in a serious relationship....no it's actually the opposite... the men are the ones who are afraid, they are the one's who don't want to commit. Where are the guys who still know how to pick up the phone and call a girl to ask them on a date? Where are the guys who have enough respect for us women to put aside their thoughts of hopping in bed at the first chance and instead settle for a kiss at the end of the night with the promise of talking again the next day? Are we as women asking too much? are we expecting the impossible? or are guys just that indecisive? They say women can't make up their minds on what we want.... B.S! we know exactly what we want.... I know exactly what I want! that's why its not me... its you!
its not me...its you
So we have all heard it before... "its me... not you!" or "I need to work on myself before I can fully commit to you"... Why is it that guys are so willing to jump into bed and the minute they wake up, they are mentally unstable and is dealing with personal issues? Why cant the guy just come out and say it? "I only talked to you so I could get in your bed" . What is this shit that they feed us?
I know plenty of girls who waste their time on guys like this and I am just as guilty as the next but WHY!?!? i dont get it! Then we are the ones who go home and sit and think to ourselves, "what did I do wrong" why doesn't he like me" "what can I do to make myself better?" I've asked myself all of these questions and i've done my fair share of self seeking and the only thing i've come up with and I believe its the honest to goodness truth... "its not me... it's you!"
I know plenty of girls who waste their time on guys like this and I am just as guilty as the next but WHY!?!? i dont get it! Then we are the ones who go home and sit and think to ourselves, "what did I do wrong" why doesn't he like me" "what can I do to make myself better?" I've asked myself all of these questions and i've done my fair share of self seeking and the only thing i've come up with and I believe its the honest to goodness truth... "its not me... it's you!"
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